Saturday, January 30, 2016

What's the Deal with Kylo Ren?


Girls just want to have fun too you know!


The other day one of my friends asked me what my deal is with Kylo Ren?

"Are you sexually attracted to him?" he asked.

I pressed the Kylo Ren light saber battery usage detector icon placed in a strategic position on the Kylo Ren wallpaper on my phone so that it buzzed, and then I grinned.

"I like his saber..."


However, his question did make me wonder. He only said what I'm sure many of my friends and peers are thinking.

Why did I suddenly get obsessed with Kylo Ren?

Well, Dandy's been dead a while...

Gotta have a new psychopath to moon over?

I think the picture of Kylo Ren looking at the demon from my new book speaks for itself.

It's what I do.

I live in the shadows.

I'm a horror writer.

The Villain
Kylo Ren is a great villain. At least, how I like to see villains.

He's not pure evil, as his mom says in Star Wars: The Force Within. He still has some Light.

He almost has a conscience.

I wish they'd left in the scene where has remorse over what he did to his dad.

But the movie is already long and also it might have been too emo for the hard core fans who already mock him and call him Cry-lo Ren. I also take umbrage with haters who thought he was a sissy in the final battle. He was battling Finn with a mortal wound, inflicted by Chewbacca that would have taken out most people, in his side, that he kept hitting, and he got sliced by Finn. It also seems clear to me that Finn has some Force in him as well so that battle was pretty rough.

Then he finally had to battle Rey who had already picked his mind and created self-doubt, while bleeding to death and no doubt in horrible pain, and did a damn fine job of it. He could have killed her instantly, we know that, but he was hesistant, no doubt still feeling shitty from killing dad and now he would kill another person he knows. We know he knows her from the flashbacks. I'm certain she is Luke's daughter so she would be his cousin. So it's a vulnerable character battling supposedly to the death. But it isn't because they have to stay alive for two more movies. And he'll have a sexy scar on his face in addition to his tortured Phantom of the Opera mystique.

As I've mentioned before, this movie came along at the perfect time in my life. It awakened in me my fun side. My geek side. The side that dug sitting in the moving chairs with 3D glasses hurtling through space shooting stuff.

Cool Costume and Hair
Maybe Kylo Ren's costume looks way cooler in 3D. I've only seen the movie in 3D. I love his cape and hair, and of course, it echoes of all things I love: witches, goths, and vampires.

When I first left the movie, I said that they should have something in one of the next movies where Alan Rickman in Snape costume but not as the character Snape and Kylo Ren have some sort of encounter. But poor Mr. Rickman died shortly thereafter.

I've always loved quirky looking men and of course, they Disney-fied Adam Driver to be gorgeous, creepy, petulant, and dangerous. They pushed all the right buttons, at least to capture my interest. And judging by all the "Adam Driver is hot" posts I see, I'm not alone. He pulls off that outfit and of course, that narcissistic psychopath character perfectly. Yes, there are also lots of people who hate his looks. But isn't that always the way?

Embrace Your Inner Child
My kid side no longer has actual kids to indulge and so I'm embracing my inner child and enjoying playing with my Kylo Ren toys.

Don't shrinks always tell us to embrace our inner child.

So maybe I am!

I've been posting pictures mostly on Instagram and some on Twitter. I don't mean anything by it but pure fun.

Like most writers, I have lots of toys on my desk and I rotate them out for new ones now and again. Now a tiny Kylo Ren has joined the pack. I've been looking for a bigger one but he's sold out everywhere in the form I want. I know there will be more than enough dolls in about a month. So many they'll be piled up in discount bins for years.

So I'll be patient for new dolls.

In the meantime, I hope people get a few chuckles out of my silly games.

In the Beginning


Kylo Ren meets my gorilla from the Chicago Zoo.



Kylo Ren tells the witch the demon made him cut off the gorilla's arm but she's not buying it.


Then he meets my spider.


Gorilla gets pissed at Kylo Ren. He smacks down the light saber but Kylo Ren puts him in a Force Grip.

Gorilla is going to make some Kylo Ren stew.

Kylo Ren is pissed.

Kylo Ren Force grabs a nearby skeleton who was mocking him.



The spider and gorilla try to make a break for it.

Kylo Ren Force grabs his lightsaber and that's the end of everyone.



Time for a coffee break from a mug with the crime scene photo of Abby Borden with her head bashed in from The Lizzie Borden Bed and Breakfast.

I gave him a stern talking to about trashing my toys.



He's says he'll try better as he stomps off in a huff. I'm not sure I believe him.


Well, look who's here? Scrat! He heard all the commotion and thought he'd see what's up.



Kylo Ren has an idea.





Be careful, Scrat!


Scrat panics and knocks the acorn and the lightsaber out of Kylo Ren's hands.

Just as Kylo Ren is going to Force choke Scrat, he is distracted by a spinal column bone that fits perfectly on his head like a helmet. He contemplates the look for a while, in black of course, but decides he doesn't want to look like a cross between the Pharoahs in the movie, Jesus Christ: Superstar and the Gorilla Army from Tim Burton's Planet of the Apes. I hope.

Where are you going now, Kylo Ren?


He's a man with a mission.





No, Kylo Ren. You can't use the Scorching Ball as your new Starkiller Base.

Look deep into the crystal ball, Ben Solo. Who are you and what do you really want from your life?


(NOTE: I took these pictures over the course of the week or so I've had the doll. These photos might be different from ones that I posted on other social media. I thought it would be fun to try to make some sense out of the random pictures that I took. So I came up with this story. The pictures themselves are in the order of how I took them, which I made part of the game for myself!)

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