Friday, August 17, 2012

Fan Expo and Rue Morgue's Festival of Fear in Toronto August 23, 2012


The screening for Slime City Massacre is at TEN O'CLOCK Friday MORNING.

Here's me and Greg Lamberson, director and writer of SLIME CITY MASSACRE at a previous Festival of Fear.

Kealan Patrick Burke, Jennifer Bihl and Sephera Giron on the set of Slime City Massacre.

I will be at booth 1717 at the Horror Writers Association Booth!

I'm also on a panel on Sunday at 2 pm with Greg Lamberson, Kelley Armstrong and Monica Kuebler.

Monday, August 13, 2012

Here Comes Honey Boo Boo Child!

In case you don't know who Honey Boo Boo Child is, you can click the above link or just Google. Lots to see if you Google!

Honey Boo Boo, whose real name is Alana Thompson, was first spotted on "Toddlers and Tiaras," a show that I'm weirdly addicted to.

I watch "Toddlers in Tiaras" for a few reasons. I was a dance competition mom but since I had a boy and our studio was run by a sane fair woman, I wasn't all crazy like the pageant and dance show moms. But I've seen seen a few in action.

So when I first spotted Toddlers in Tiaras, I was mystified, hypnotised, couldn't look away...I should add that when I first started watching the show, it had already been on for a  year and I was going through a difficult time in my life. I watched an ALL DAY MARATHON to block my brain from reality troubles and dropped right into glitz and glamour crazy of child pageants.

Instead of worrying about the wrong turn at Alburqurqee my life had gone down, I had to scrap my jaw off the floor as I watched little kids getting spray tans, false finger AND TOENAILS, waxed eyebrows, and other feminine rituals that I myself at age fifty have still never had done nor can afford to have done....

I grew attached to Oliver Reed incarnate MaKenzie or however she spells it and she's still my favourite to this day. Alas, I guess MaKenzie, though featured a few times, wasn't crazy enough for her own show though I'd certainly watch it.

However, Miss Holla for a Dolla has redneckanized America. Little six-year-old Alana Thompson and her amazing couponing mom, June have us transfixed in their spell of redneckery pagaentry.

Dad, Sugar Bear, works seven days a week to afford his brood of four obese daughters and 309 pound June and a grandbaby on the way.

In watching this family bond over cheese balls for breakfast, participating in the Annual Red Neck Games such as bobbing for raw pigs feet and belly-flopping in the mud, I realized something.

This family loves each other.

We can judge their "ways" all we want but at the end of the day, they do things together, whether it's driving those jeep things around or going to the pageants or listening to the pregnant 17 year old's baby's heartbeat.

They are a real family. Trying to have fun, a good life, make ends meet, and keep the kids entertained.

Much like when I watch Sisterwives or 19 Kids and Counting, I sit there with my mouth agape at these people oh so different than me.

Yet, here I am, alone in my apartment with my sons and no spouse. Yes, I myself still have two married living parents and count myself lucky with my own middle class childhood.

And all these reality show families have more than I do. Committed spouses, no matter what weird rules they have, a family that does things together. Bonding, rituals, togetherness, two parents.

These people live life and love life. They don't blame anyone else for their choices.

Although I will say, I have to laugh at that poor Glitzy the screaming pig. That poor pig will no doubt be bacon one day but in the meantime, it gets to have its toes painted and no doubt, a bunch of outfits will be donning that little pig who Honey Boo Boo sleeps with in a playpen.

What did Glitzy think of the pig feet dunking game? Will her feet be next? What does that pig feet water smell like in 100 degree heat before you plunge your head into it and pick up a raw pig foot with your teeth...?

I think I'll go vomit now...I don't have the stomach to be a redneck.

But I'll be watching Honey Boo Boo.

Here's a link to a spoof about Honey Boo!

Here's a link to a spoof about Makenzie

What do YOU think about this Honey Boo Boo business?