Thursday, May 30, 2013

The Bachelorette

Okay, I admit that I've been sort of watching the Bachelor and the Bachelorette and other such shows sporadically over the years, like many of you, I'm sure.

If a regular series I've been following wraps up for the season such as "Bates Motel" then I may turn on the goggle box to keep me company while I write blogs or cruise Facebook or any other work that isn't writing or editing books. When I write or edit, there can be no TV or music. Just the sound of words on a page. But for everything else, I enjoy background babble so I don't feel so alone. I guess it's like "office noise" for people in real workplaces. I'll often pop into one of those dating reality shows and if things look interesting, I'll hang out for a while, sometimes even for several weeks.

I had the new Bachelorette on in the background the other night. I looked up now and again and saw a shirtless guy, a knight in shining armor, a magician, and a toddler. I didn't know if I was watching Chef Ramsey taking on Medieval Times or what was going on. The bachelors pulled out all the stops. I read a couple of reviews the next day and there were other lures as well that I didn't catch such as a persistent dude wanting to take Des to the Fantasy Room many episodes too early and other such charming moments involving poems, songs, and misguided dance dips.

The scenes I caught during this premiere episode were weird. I had watched Des on one of the other shows but she's so bland I don't remember anything about her. She cries all the time. In the "coming attractions" bit at the end of the show, it seems like everyone gets to burst into tears at some point or another. Really? Dudes! Come on! Whaddup?!

In my experience, dudes that cry like a baby on a regular basis are often Narcissists or Psychopaths. Who wants to hang with one of those? Thanks, Casting People, for hooking up Des with a wack-job.

Even if they are just "sensitive" metrosexuals, there wasn't a single one of those guys I would go on a date with. They were all "good looking" in that pop-culture perfection way. For sure. I will not argue that with anyone. All these young men were hot, hot, hot. Even the biggest geeks were hot! If you had to pick by hotness, it would be a difficult task.

However, the "characters" cast upon them by the writers were disturbing. Especially dude who brought his kid to the party. Come on! Can you imagine if a woman brought her kid on a date on a TV show what people would think? Not...awwww...more like smothering mommy who will always cling to her kid and not give you the time of day.

Plus, now what's going to happen? Since daddy-of-toddler got the FIRST ROSE, now a dangerous new precedent has been set. Soon instead of limos, there will be caravans pulling up, with spawn emerging like spiders bursting from an egg sack to show the new bachelorette how wonderful their lives will be. What about the dude with eight kids from different mommas? What about teenagers? Can they come too?

Oh, my goodness, I hope he doesn't win or this is gonna be a way different show in the future.

Why on earth would they put a little kid on the show? It's ridiculous and takes away the spirit of fairness and fun from the game. I bet the other dads would want to show off their kids too.

Anyway, another thing happened. I read a tweet after the show was over and this tweeter hit the nail on the head.

All through the whole beginning of the show, Des babbled on and cried about how all she ever wanted was a fairy tale romance, a knight in shining armor to sweep her off her feet, blahblahblah....

Meanwhile, in the very first episode, she dismissed the knight in shining armor, the magician, and some other creative dudes.

As the twitterer wryly observed, no wonder men can't figure out women!

I doubt I'll be watching much of the Bachelorette this season. I'll likely click in now and again to see if anything happens. I don't like Des, sorry, nothing personal, but she's just not compelling TV for me. The men are creepy metrosexuals and who knows what's going to happen. Where's Jake the narcissistic airline pilot or that dude who tattooed his arm? Maybe some of these guys turn out to be drama beyond crying. What's making everyone cry? Has one been unmasked as Ghostface? Maybe there's a duel!

I wish Millionaires Club was on every night. I'll take vibrant mouthy Patti Stanger any day over milquetoast Des.

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Global Marijuana March 2013

This is the third year in a row I've attended the Global Marijuana March. I wanted to go for many years before but had too many other things on the go and lived too far to just "pop in" like I did today. However marching for the legalization of pot is important for many reasons so I made the effort today.
I myself did not partake of the Herb as I had driven to the subway to save time since I'm trying to get a mountain of work done today. But I felt it my duty to show solidarity just the same by

Although the Gathering started at "high noon" at Queen's Park, I didn't go until around 1:30 since the march started at two. Even at 1:30, there were hundreds of people sitting around the park, smoking bongs, pipes, joints, eating brownies and so on. Hundreds of people arrived every minute. I went down to Tim Horton's to get a donut and coffee and got back just after the march started.

For the past two years, the City of Toronto has refused to issue permits for the Freedom Festival to run at the same time as the Global Marijuana March. This is vastly disappointing and short-sighted. People come from all over North America to march on this day in Toronto. This is an opportunity for local artists to sell their wares, food vendors to make a fortune from thousands of people with the munchies, and for people to sell weird and wonderful art. I myself would get a booth to sell tarot readings and trinkets if the price for a permit was reasonable. I used to do that in Port Credit for various events and festivals. There are rare city events someone like me can participate in because we're fringe. It would give artists and food trucks a rare opportunity to earn a bit of extra cash to pay our rent.

The Freedom Festival is a tourist opportunity that the City of Toronto should be exploring not shutting down. In these horrific economic times (how long have I been looking for work in my field with my great credentials...?) this provides a great opportunity to create jobs for everyone: porta-parties, food trucks, artists, cops, security, musicians, psychics, dancers, people who are in charge of renting out stages and tents, and so on.

The same people who are already there anyways would be able to spend money and move the economy forward for a day instead of McDonalds and Tim Hortons getting all the money yet again.

City of Toronto, you need to get it together!

Back to my report:
As always, there were hundreds of cops everywhere. In the park, on the streets, every few feet of the parade route. (See how vender permits would have helped to pay for all those cops?)
Maybe I'm just getting old and coupled with the fact I've not had a date in the three years since I left my husband, I thought there was a plethora of handsome cops with very nice legs. Most bicycle cops wear shorts. You can make out the Mounties, not in shorts, on the horses in this lower picture. I should have brought a better camera instead of my cell phone.
The cops were laughing and joking with all of the stoners. It was a lovely day of stoners and cops co-mingling, like that magical time at Sarstock many years ago where pot was legal for ONE DAY before they took it away again.
There's always "that earnest stoner" who starts yapping with a cop and the poor cop just had to nod and smile at his babblings. I saw that a few times on the parade route. It's always high-larious to see, once you get to my age because it's always the same: the pothead is so sure he's changing the cop's mind-set, man. Relax. Mellow out, dude. And the cop just laughs.

There were a couple more moments and musings worth sharing.
1. We were all walking along and people smoking a bong beside me were commenting on how slow we were all walking. I said "There's more shuffling at the pot march than at the Zombie Walk." They all thought that was funny.
2. People were trying to "make noise" such as yelling and chanting. Another dude beside me, holding a huge bong, said plaintively, "We can't yell anymore, our lungs have collapsed."  I had to laugh at that. 
3. The mass I was in was turning down the last street of the parade. Everyone was having a "quiet moment" as anyone who smokes pot understands the "Phases of Being High" and shuffling along. Suddenly, the sound of glass shattering pierces the air, like  the beginning of that Billy Joel album. Giant sorrowful waves of  "AWWWW" and "DUUUUUDE" ripple through the air as the crowd shuffles by poor bong dropper picking up the pieces.
Everyone livened up again, clutching their own bongs tighter, chanting and "wooing" and shuffled further along where Herb was waving at people passing his truck near the end of the route. Another glass shattered. Again waves of "Awww" and "Sucks to be YOU" rippled along the peaceful protesters.
4. Maybe I'm old and lazy. I don't know. I've never seen so many bongs in my life. Thousands of bongs. Last year wasn't like that. There were bongs but maybe a couple of hundred. This was amazing. Some were huge, like a saxophone. It was so cool to see thousands of people and bongs on blankets, sorting their weed, dogs playing, kids tossing hake sacs and drumming. A few ukuleles were busted out. Mascots and pot cosplay people danced through the park before and after the march.
However, I can't imagine having to carry that bong around everywhere I go, especially if I was high or drunk. And since it's actually not legal to smoke pot in Toronto yet although you can buy bongs, you're a target when it's not pot march day. Aren't you?
I don't have the energy to deal with caring for a big glass water-filled fragile container reeking of an illegal substance everywhere I go. Of course, I rarely carry a purse too for that matter. I hate carrying stuff around. I understand you get more high from a bong but it seems like a lot of work and that's just too high for me.
My point is though, that it must be a new generational thing, all these people carrying bongs in the parade, smoking the bongs down the street. Back in my day, we smoked joints. Smoking in the park must have been nice to do for bong users. Although the day started off cool and rainy, by parade time it was hot and sunny in parts. I noted that many of the bong blanket people were still there at the end of the parade. Many times, people just stay in the park, and I mean hundreds of people, and don't march at all.
5. If you're going to carry a bong around, you should do what I saw some people did to carry their bongs. They created "bong carriers." These were like slings designed for their bongs, in the vein of a front baby carrier. Great too for smoking since no one will drop the bong and smash it in mid-toke.
6. Why on earth would you even ATTEMPT to drive up Yonge Street when there's a pot march of several thousand stoners shambling along the street?

The Bong Mascot is pictured above.

It was a lovely day. A good bit of exercise, all that slow-mo shuffling!

You should come to the next GMM! It's a great day to see a lot of people being mellow and happy.

Give a Tarot Reading to Your Mom on Mother's Day and Help a Single Mother!

Give your mom a tarot reading for Mother's Day and help me (a single mother) get my ghost book published! A Mother's Day win-win!

I've set up an Indigogo campaign to help achieve my dream project of writing and publishing a fabulous book on ghost hunting and scary stories.

The difference between this book and my other self-published endeavors is that I'm going to be hiring an editor, a cover designer, someone to format the book properly because I will be including pictures, and any other costs that come with creating a higher quality book than what I can do by myself.

I am also raising money so that I can get back to the Lizzie Borden House to do a live radio interview with Lizzie Borden specialist, Lisa Mannetti and gather more evidence that can be included in the book. Lisa and I will be doing live tarot readings with the spirits and possibly a séance from the room where Abby Borden was murdered. This is a call-in show and you can be involved too!

For those who know me, they'll know that my job situation has been utterly dismal and getting a full time day job is very difficult for a fifty-one year old woman fresh out into the job force even though I have a Bachelor of Arts degree and several other education benchmarks. I get by with part-time jobs and editing manuscripts. If you have a manuscript that needs to be edited or evaluated or you just want a report on it, pop me an email. My rates are on the editorial services tab but like everything in life, we can negotiate.

Fundraising money will be going towards the book and all the staff I can hire, some money will go towards financing my Lizzie Borden trip, and if there's any left over, the purchase of some ghost hunting equipment so that I can continue to independently ghost hunt and write even more books and stories for you.

If I should get donations OVER my goal, I will be donating 10% of the profits to an abused women's charity.

Donations that include tarot readings start at $25. The readings can be done anytime after your donation is made and are fully transferable. No donation is too small. Even $1 is greatly appreciated!

Times are tough for us all and if we can all help each other, we can all reach our goals. If you can't donate even $1 towards my project, please take a minute to share my campaign with your friends and family.

If you have any questions at all, please feel free to comment below or email me!

Thank you so very much for helping out this mom on Mother's Day!