Gold Diggers and Narcissists: 90 Day Fiance Happily Ever After?

It's no secret to readers of this blog that I watch reality TV now and again. These days, my dirty little secret is 90 Day Fiancé and some of the other shows like it such as Married at First Sight. I'm glad that TLC is following some couples after the initial show because there are some real doozies on there.

I wasn't going to waste precious writing time blogging about the 90 Day Fiancé fiasco but then Sunday's episode (July 23, 2017) aired and I can't retain my thoughts any longer in my head or I'm going to explode. I thought if I went over to the Facebook page that it would be therapeutic and I could let them go, but no, I must express some thoughts about these train wreck couples before I go mad!

Pao and Russ

Pao and Russ are a disaster. She obviously is just using him for a green card. She doesn't care about his feelings or his career. She's said many times it's all about her career and she doesn't know what will happen between them. She knew where Russ lived and what he did before she came over. I feel sorry for Russ. Pao, her girlfriends, and her men friends all are assholes to Russ. Of course, Russ brought it on himself by going for a hot exotic woman. We all know how going for looks always ends no matter which way you're going. He's a Mormon but went for a spicy Latino who has no intention of being a Mormon. Right there...you know there will be trouble. But young love, old love, once you fall for someone and truly love them, you'll do anything for them, even at the expense of self-respect,  money, and a career. We see many examples of this on the show.

Pao got scammed by her agent. Well, duh. Pao likely never double-checked with the agent and the agent probably didn't even know she'd actually moved there. I'm not sure, I don't remember. I usually don't watch this storyline, I find this couple boring since she's just a self-absorbed bitch and they are horribly mismatched.  So she thinks she can bully the agent into actually getting her work. Good luck. The only reason the agent spoke to her at all was because the TLC camera crew was filming it all. I thought it was pretty funny she wasn't even in the system. The agent doesn't care that she dyed her hair blond and how much it cost. Just another Latino model trying to make it in Miami. Welcome to Show Biz, Pao. You can't just walk in and get it just because you want it. Ask any of us!

Russ should go home and salvage his house and career and get a matchmaker to hook him up with a local gal or at least a gal who wants small town life, there are plenty out there. Pao should go back to Columbia since she won't be able to support herself in Miami unless she waitresses and lives with a bunch of friends or something like that.

Loren and Alexi

I hate this couple so much. They are so boring. If I'm lying on the couch or in bed when they are on, I fall asleep and then get mad that I missed the rest of the show. Of course, TLC airs these shows fifty times a week so it's easy to catch up. Loren is a liar. She proved that about the spiteful bachelorette party. That's likely only the first of many lies, I don't doubt. She constantly whines and is always crying. Yes, I'm sympathetic to her Tourette's Syndrome but holy smokes, you are married to the man of your dreams and you just lie and cry. And that whiny tone when she talks; I want to smack her.

Alexi is a whiny baby as well. It doesn't make sense that a mama's boy wants to move to another country. Yet now he wants mommy and daddy to join him in the new world. They don't want to come because they want to stay in their country with the other son. I think they know that this couple isn't going to last. I bet Alexi will break up with Loren because of the Tourette's Syndrome risk with a baby issue which apparently is news to Loren although a quick Google search shows you the information with the click of a mouse. Yep, I just did it. About three seconds to see that it's hereditary. Sheesh. They aren't a good match anyway. She's spoiled and doesn't respect his culture. He's a mama's boy that should have never flown from the nest. Whah, whah, whah.

Chantal and Pedro

Speaking of whiney babies, Chantal is the biggest spoiled brat diva I've ever seen which means she's also a whiny baby. Well, that's not true that she's the biggest I've ever seen, I've encountered a lot of divas in my time, but still, she IS pretty much at the top. She forces Pedro to lie to her parents for ninety days. They already sensed something shady about it all, duh. I'm a parent, we always know when someone's up to something whether we say anything about it. So they automatically think Pedro is a lying asshole when it's THEIR DAUGHTER who is the lying asshole.

I can't hold my tongue, Chantal is so spoiled and entitled I can't stand it. She demands a $5000 ring. Why? Where is all this money coming from that she's secretly sponsoring and caring for him, all that paperwork, their apartment, new cars, he has $2000 in gaming systems and on and on. Yet, with all her riches as she's from a rich family from what it looks like, she has to bully a man that she knows comes from poverty.

Why were the parents and Chantal such assholes? They see how dirt poor these people are and yet call them selfish because Pedro brought a few dresses, toiletries and laptops. Of course a good son is going to treat the family. It's just what some people do if the mom is struggling. If a child can treat the parent, why not?

The apartment the mom moved into cost about $200 a month. So what? That's nothing if you're buying rings and cars and having two weddings and flying ten people to the Dominican Republic for week in a hotel. God. Instead of Chantal's family feeling proud that a few trinkets bring such joy, a son being proud and showing how he's the man now with his wife and ability to do both, they are so angry feeling like these people are stealing from them somehow. Hell, they were the ones who made Pedro sign a pre-nup that what is his is his and what is Chantal's is Chantal's. So fuck off! What is wrong with tossing a few bucks to poor people who seemed to appreciate it.

Yes, they likely shouldn't have served chicken feet but they knew they were dealing with snobby assholes and it was the only way they could "get back" in a gentle way. How utterly rude and assholish that the family didn't even get out of the car to see the grandmother who worked all day for their feast. Holy shit. What fucking snobby assholes. I'm still angry. Yes, they are crazy Americans. 

They are representative of a type of typical tourist Americans who make the rest of the world hate them including all the fantastic typical tourist Americans. I saw this entitled type all the time when I waitressed at CN Tower and Skydome. UGH. They are the main reason I had to write. They likely go to church and donate but god forbid they have the opportunity to help real live people, even to just say hello and spend a few hours in a shack and appreciate how THEY don't have to ever live this way but these people have no choice. What assholes.

This relationship won't last. I think Pedro actually loves Chantal but he'll eventually tire of her diva ways and cheat. Chantal is just a selfish asshole and will likely dump him because her parents will tell her to even though she lied so much about getting married in the first place. Her parents will never trust Pedro and it's all Chantal's fault and if they are too lazy to learn about cultures where sons take care of their mothers, then they can just go back to their self-absorbed little castle. They should appreciate how hard Pedro works (two jobs) and that he wants to take care of his family. It shows true character and that he would be a good father and provider. Selfish Chantal and hubby Pedro live in a fine place in an expensive city and have costly clothes, nails, hair, cars, jewelry...what's a couple of hundred bucks when they likely spend that on a night out at the bar?

Now, down to my two favourite couples. Well, not favourite but the ones I watch this show for because sometimes my jaw falls onto the floor.

Anfisa and Jorge

Danielle and Mohamad

First of all, Anfisa and Mohamad are classic cases of Narcissistic Personality Disorder Syndrome, not that I'm a shrink or anything. But I think their actions speak for themselves.

Danielle and Jorge are classic targets, enablers, people who often get caught in the web of hypnotic vampire spiders.

It is so obvious that both Anfisa and Mohamad latched onto people who they thought were multi-millionaires who would take care of them. They thought they could pretend to love the people since the pay was good. However, when they arrived and realized these people weren't like the Kardashians, they played mind games and bided their time until the green card was obtained and then, bye-bye.

Both Jorge and Danielle didn't have the endless cash supply the con artists were hoping for so ugliness ensued. Which makes for great television. Danielle is her own special kind of nuts and Jorge is just a nice guy with low self-esteem who thought he could play Wolf of Wall Street but hooked a true psycho instead of just a pretty Russian girl who wanted to come over and be treated well. Jorge just had bad luck. He's young and likely had too much cash too fast and then it was gone and she won't let him make more because she's so stupid that she doesn't understand why he's not with her 24/7 yet he has to go to work to get the money for the life she demands! What the hell?

Watching how Anfisa treats Jorge makes me sad. I understand how he's hypnotized and likely really did have a lot of money, once, but blew it all on her. She never lets him go to work so how is he supposed to make money? She cost him big deals even while the show was filming. I'm sure once he pissed off suppliers or whatever, he lost connections, business and now he's in debt. Her constant demands and abuse drained his bank account, cost him jobs, his health, his self-esteem. Yet he still loves her. No. He loves the demon who hypnotized him with great sex and promises in another land. But once she got here, the mask came off and she became the demon she was all along. But he doesn't quite see it yet. He will, I hope. He keeps hoping the original Anfisa will return but she won't because she never existed. The Jorge-beating gaslighting mind-fucker she is now is her true self.

Her word salads, her mind games, her control actions, deleting his phone, kicking him out of his own apartment that he pays for and why? Who even knows? She's crazy like all narcissists, psychopaths, and sociopaths are. And she's barely twenty! Yet, he is beguiled. And that's how these demons survive.

Just like Danielle. She STILL has the hots for Mohammad, you can tell by her blush when she speaks of him, even though they only had sex once and he's running around with a million different women. She's hypnotized as well by the original guy she thought she knew. But she lied about her money situation, lost her job, and he took off.

Neither Jorge or Danielle are innocent in the mix either but they don't deserve what was done to them.

Both Anfisa and Mohamad should be deported. They came to the United States and mind-fucked US citizens and blew through their money. There's even footage of Anfisa physically assaulting Jorge on camera on two separate occasions. Who knows how much she beats him behind closed doors? The way she treats him on camera is disgusting. It's so sad to see him bullied and he doesn't know what to do. She needs to be arrested, jailed, and then deported. She's just a gold digger.

Mohamad just wanted a green card, he would have liked to have been a gold digger and no doubt, he will land on some woman's bed, and perhaps has been all along, but maybe not now that his life has been on TV. I've heard rumours he's deported but I'm not sure. I haven't peeked at spoilers when I can help it.

Why Watch This Mess?

Learning about con artists, love fraud, and so on is always a good idea. Watching these shows, no matter how scripted, can show different ways that people get conned, from spouses conning each other, to families conning families, even the agent conning Pao.

Learning about red flags is always a valuable tool. No matter how obvious some actions look from the "outside," no one ever knows what it's like to be the target on the inside. No one can understand the seductions behind closed doors, the promises to do better, the rewards of the sex that had been deprived. Good-hearted people are hypnotized by demons every day. Learning the signs can keep it from being you!

Consider watching 90 Day Fiance, Happily Ever After? school work, a lesson in human nature, especially if you're rushing into a marriage or cohabitation with a stranger!

I began watching the show just because I was curious to see if people would actually get married and why. It's been on for a while.  However, these couples from last season were so bizarre there's a whole new season about the aftermath on TLC.

What do you think about these couples? Will any of them survive and grow into a healthy marriage?