The Assassination of Gianni Versace and Toronto's Serial Killer

I do not claim any of these photos on this blog as mine. They are popular images from the internet from the show "The Assassination of Gianni Versace" which is on FX on Wednesday nights. 

The Assassination of Gianni Versace will be spoiled so don't read any more if you don't want the show spoiled for you. 

You have been warned.

It has been chilling to watch the mini-series The Assassination of Gianni Versace here in Toronto as our own real-life serial killer has been unmasked.

Before I get into my musings about the American Crime Story TV series by Ryan Murphy, which is based on the true story of a serial killer who murdered Versace, I will talk a bit about what’s happening here in Toronto.

I’ve been meaning to write about the Versace mini-series for a long time but I’ve also been deeply disturbed by events here in Toronto, so I’ve been putting it off a bit.

Killer in The Village

For many years, there have been men missing in Toronto. Gay men, homeless men, men addicted to various substances, and so on. Most of the missing men have been gay or people of colour in or around an area known as “The Village” or “The Gay Village” or “Church and Wellesley” or “The Triangle”. So, fingers in The Community point to a police department that may or may not have been as vigilant as they could have been. 

A man missing last spring, Andrew Kinsmen, particularly drew up publicity as his family kept hope alive that he would be found. Like many of the missing men, Andrew was a kind, lovely soul who would do anything for anyone. I suspect that was the serial killer’s “type” as well as the physical look. 

Many of the men have a similar “look” despite what colour their skin might be. As far as I can tell, most have been described as the type who would give you the shirt off their back, despite other issues they may have had. 

Andrew’s family constantly banged the drum about his disappearance: flyers, posters, social media, the news, etc. I always thought he was the victim of a serial killer as I felt a punch in my gut the first time I saw his picture on the news. I thought about other missing men from that area and sensed a connection. Most observant people had similar ideas, and we had them long before Andrew was lost.

Decades of Missing Men

For years people have been missing but hey, Toronto is a big city, people come and go. Some people go under the radar and like it there. However, people like Andrew don’t just up and disappear. And it seems like there have been a few people live him over the years who have done just that. 

There have mostly been gay men but there are also some suspicious deaths of women and trans women and men that never have been solved and cases just quietly disappear, if anyone knew about them to begin with. Of course, as a horror writer, my mind always spins a story when I hear news, but back then, I hoped Andrew and the others would one day turn up alive somewhere.

Around the time Versace aired, a man was named a suspect in the Toronto killings. I won’t say his name, he sickens me to the core. He looks like f**king Santa Claus and actually did work as one now and again. At first, it seemed like there may be one or two deaths this man was responsible for. However, today, six bodies have been found. I don’t doubt by the end of it all, there will be twenty or more.

Toronto's Serial Killer

Toronto’s serial killer hung out on dating sites and obviously in The Village even though he was apparently banned from it years ago. Toronto’s serial killer is a gardener, a landscaper. What a great job for a serial killer. 

Landscaper

He had a host of clients and kept his tools stored at other people’s homes. He was a quiet man. Hell, I’ve had a couple of friends tell me they have friends who are friends with him and their minds are BLOWN. So now, many homes have been dug up all around Ontario. Before today with the grisly six different men’s remains discovered in a backyard, other remains of three other people (the same people?) were found in various planters. 

This is the just the beginning. 

There are many more planters and yards to get through across Ontario and who knows where else. Right now, it’s minus 11 in Toronto and has been that cold or colder for a couple of months. It’s weirdly cold this year. Generators were brought in to warm up the ground for the painstaking excavation of evidence or potential evidence.

It’s sad and horrific. Andrew was identified today as one of the victims in the yard.

Versace Mini-Series Thoughts

So with that in mind, watching the Versace mini-series, about a serial killer who preyed on gay men, I feel doubly creeped out, a bit guilty watching it, yet at the same time, hyper aware that Versace and the other victims are not works of fiction either, but were real live people as well.

I want to recognize that I know a lot of people portrayed in the mini-series aren’t happy about how they come off and so on, and I’ve noticed lots of disclaimers about the artistic use of dialogue etc. I’m not naive and I think most viewers aren’t. We know it’s a fictionalized version that facts are dramatized for the story. Look at all the alone scenes, no one knows what really happened, who said what or thought what. When I’m watching the show, I watch it like a docudrama. I know it’s not all real but a lot of it is.

And so far, I love it so the estate and so on shouldn’t worry about any of it.

I still remember hearing when Versace was shot in front of his mansion and the outpouring of grief from the public. It was mind-blowing. It was one of the first times that someone as famous as Versace was murdered like that. It was the third big one for me in the way my life worked and the news I heard. First was John Lennon, then Rebecca Schaefer, and then Versace.

It wasn’t like I was a fan of Versace or anything like that. I wasn’t not a fan either but I knew who he was for sure. Peak of his career with so much more to go. An amazing story of self-made man who loved what he did. Shot dead out of the blue by some crazy asshole.

I remember learning about Andrew Cunanan. So when I heard there was a mini-series about it all, I wanted to see it and see what spin it would have. I was over the moon when I heard Finn Wittrock was playing one of the victims.

David Madson (Cody Fern) episode.

The way the show is structured is that we are working on a backwards timeline. Versace was murdered first and now we’re going back to all the victims before him. At first, I wasn’t sure if I would like that, wondering if the suspense was going to be lost, but in fact, I quite like it.

Last night, Jeffrey Trail (Finn Wittrock) was murdered at the beginning and we follow Andrew gaslighting and brainwashing David throughout the episode. It was an amazing story and the more I think about it, the more I just can’t think about it. Cody Fern was amazing playing a man who wants to do what’s right but his character is so gentle, he can’t, but we understand and feel great empathy for him. We really want him to go, to break free but he has Stockholme Syndrome or is in shock or whatever happened. We'll never know what really happened in real life but this was a sympathetic version. 

I thought his death was great, but I wished it had ended with him with his dad and then showing Andrew standing over his dead body with the gun instead of going back to the chase. It felt clunky and took a bit of the tension and grief away as I already knew he was shot and didn’t go into the cabin.  But it’s from scenes like David’s death dream where we recognize that this is a fictional show and not a documentary. Who knows what David thought as he died? We don’t know. The writers made it up. And it was good and worked though a tiny bit corny and totally predictable. But it’s TV and it worked.

In fact, we don’t know anything at all in real life about what happened when Andrew hammered Jeffrey in the head. It’s all pretend because no one who wrote the show was there.

Next week, we’ll meet Finn Wittrock’s character in more detail and see what happened there. It sounded like they were together a few years, so I wonder when the killing began? With Jeffrey’s hammer in the head death? Were there previous deaths? I don’t want to Google it. I forget the details of the case, if the story is even following it. I’ll wait to Google everything after the series is over.

Casual Thoughts

Up until this week, I had noticed some repeated themes in how the show is shot.

Stairs are used a lot. People are always going up and down or standing on them. And many of the staircases are not your run of the mill set of stairs. There are stair cases over people's shoulders, etc.

Pillars are used a lot to frame or cut up shots. Tunnels and hallways.

There are a lot of fences and gates. People are shot through chain link, wrought iron, and so on.

Mirrors are used really well especially in the first few episodes where it was all about fashion, appearances, masks and superficial ideas.

The Florida motels and many scenes were pink tinged like the inside of a perfume bottle. I kept thinking of pink flamingos. It added to the sense of claustrophobia, everything caving in. I also imagine most Florida motels back then were indeed decorated as such.

Last night, I noticed that a lot of the usual visuals weren’t there but there were different ones, simpler ones, as if to show the less opulent life.

A lot of shots through windows, looking through windows, breaking windows, framing the shot through a part of a window.

Last night, I loved how the dog stood in front of the body for many shots. I think sometimes it might have been a stuffed dog but most of the time, he stood amazingly still to break up the shot and hide the body mess.

The sound of the scrubbing, the long uncomfortable shots. There's a lot that makes this a more horrifying show than American Horror Story!

In last week’s episode with Judith Light, I enjoyed how it ended with her talking to the red light of the camera as if it was her husband. In Roanoke, there was a lot made of the red light of the camera. I think other AHS episodes mention it as well. It was a nice little nod.

Darren Criss is doing an amazing job as Andrew Cunanan. I never watched Glee, although I bet I would have enjoyed it back in the day. I have nothing to base him on just as I never saw Adam Driver in anything before I saw him as Kylo Ren in The Force Awakens and really liked him while others just thought of him as "that hipster from Girls" and didn't appreciate his acting ability. I completely believe Criss' portrayal of a serial killer. Funny how close those two roles are when you think about it. 

Another Great Psychopath

Darren Criss has captured that smug, arrogant nature of a narcissist, a psychopath, a sociopath, a serial killer. His portrayal of Andrew Cunanan makes my skin crawl. I just want to smack him in the head, he’s such an asshole. 

I’ve met a few sociopaths in my time, (as we all have as they are everywhere), and Criss captures the essence perfectly. The charm, how he imitates or mirrors what his victims want and needs, how he lures them in with false promises, with amazing sex, with flattery, just to destroy them for no good reason but his own perverse self-pleasure at watching others suffer. He tortures poor David while they were on the run with word salad and gaslighting, typical tools of the narcissist. He spins David’s head until David doesn’t know what to do or if he has the strength to do it. 

Of course, David was damned no matter what choice he would make because Cunanan would have just blamed David for the crime and David would be the one in jail forever for something he had nothing to do with. You can feel the evil from Cuananan in this situation, how he cat and mouses David and loves it so much. It’s so sad and tragic. And it really happened in real life that someone is that evil, just like that asshole in Toronto. 

Darren Criss plays the part with chilling accuracy. I hope he wins some kind of award or recognition for his work.

So far, four episodes in, The Assassination of Gianni Versace is really worth watching. The cast is outstanding. No one has been a clunker yet! The sets are amazing as Murphy’s sets and costume designs always are.

I can’t wait to see what happens next.

Gold Diggers and Narcissists: 90 Day Fiance Happily Ever After?

It's no secret to readers of this blog that I watch reality TV now and again. These days, my dirty little secret is 90 Day Fiancé and some of the other shows like it such as Married at First Sight. I'm glad that TLC is following some couples after the initial show because there are some real doozies on there.

I wasn't going to waste precious writing time blogging about the 90 Day Fiancé fiasco but then Sunday's episode (July 23, 2017) aired and I can't retain my thoughts any longer in my head or I'm going to explode. I thought if I went over to the Facebook page that it would be therapeutic and I could let them go, but no, I must express some thoughts about these train wreck couples before I go mad!

Pao and Russ

Pao and Russ are a disaster. She obviously is just using him for a green card. She doesn't care about his feelings or his career. She's said many times it's all about her career and she doesn't know what will happen between them. She knew where Russ lived and what he did before she came over. I feel sorry for Russ. Pao, her girlfriends, and her men friends all are assholes to Russ. Of course, Russ brought it on himself by going for a hot exotic woman. We all know how going for looks always ends no matter which way you're going. He's a Mormon but went for a spicy Latino who has no intention of being a Mormon. Right there...you know there will be trouble. But young love, old love, once you fall for someone and truly love them, you'll do anything for them, even at the expense of self-respect,  money, and a career. We see many examples of this on the show.

Pao got scammed by her agent. Well, duh. Pao likely never double-checked with the agent and the agent probably didn't even know she'd actually moved there. I'm not sure, I don't remember. I usually don't watch this storyline, I find this couple boring since she's just a self-absorbed bitch and they are horribly mismatched.  So she thinks she can bully the agent into actually getting her work. Good luck. The only reason the agent spoke to her at all was because the TLC camera crew was filming it all. I thought it was pretty funny she wasn't even in the system. The agent doesn't care that she dyed her hair blond and how much it cost. Just another Latino model trying to make it in Miami. Welcome to Show Biz, Pao. You can't just walk in and get it just because you want it. Ask any of us!

Russ should go home and salvage his house and career and get a matchmaker to hook him up with a local gal or at least a gal who wants small town life, there are plenty out there. Pao should go back to Columbia since she won't be able to support herself in Miami unless she waitresses and lives with a bunch of friends or something like that.

Loren and Alexi

I hate this couple so much. They are so boring. If I'm lying on the couch or in bed when they are on, I fall asleep and then get mad that I missed the rest of the show. Of course, TLC airs these shows fifty times a week so it's easy to catch up. Loren is a liar. She proved that about the spiteful bachelorette party. That's likely only the first of many lies, I don't doubt. She constantly whines and is always crying. Yes, I'm sympathetic to her Tourette's Syndrome but holy smokes, you are married to the man of your dreams and you just lie and cry. And that whiny tone when she talks; I want to smack her.

Alexi is a whiny baby as well. It doesn't make sense that a mama's boy wants to move to another country. Yet now he wants mommy and daddy to join him in the new world. They don't want to come because they want to stay in their country with the other son. I think they know that this couple isn't going to last. I bet Alexi will break up with Loren because of the Tourette's Syndrome risk with a baby issue which apparently is news to Loren although a quick Google search shows you the information with the click of a mouse. Yep, I just did it. About three seconds to see that it's hereditary. Sheesh. They aren't a good match anyway. She's spoiled and doesn't respect his culture. He's a mama's boy that should have never flown from the nest. Whah, whah, whah.

Chantal and Pedro

Speaking of whiney babies, Chantal is the biggest spoiled brat diva I've ever seen which means she's also a whiny baby. Well, that's not true that she's the biggest I've ever seen, I've encountered a lot of divas in my time, but still, she IS pretty much at the top. She forces Pedro to lie to her parents for ninety days. They already sensed something shady about it all, duh. I'm a parent, we always know when someone's up to something whether we say anything about it. So they automatically think Pedro is a lying asshole when it's THEIR DAUGHTER who is the lying asshole.

I can't hold my tongue, Chantal is so spoiled and entitled I can't stand it. She demands a $5000 ring. Why? Where is all this money coming from that she's secretly sponsoring and caring for him, all that paperwork, their apartment, new cars, he has $2000 in gaming systems and on and on. Yet, with all her riches as she's from a rich family from what it looks like, she has to bully a man that she knows comes from poverty.

Why were the parents and Chantal such assholes? They see how dirt poor these people are and yet call them selfish because Pedro brought a few dresses, toiletries and laptops. Of course a good son is going to treat the family. It's just what some people do if the mom is struggling. If a child can treat the parent, why not?

The apartment the mom moved into cost about $200 a month. So what? That's nothing if you're buying rings and cars and having two weddings and flying ten people to the Dominican Republic for week in a hotel. God. Instead of Chantal's family feeling proud that a few trinkets bring such joy, a son being proud and showing how he's the man now with his wife and ability to do both, they are so angry feeling like these people are stealing from them somehow. Hell, they were the ones who made Pedro sign a pre-nup that what is his is his and what is Chantal's is Chantal's. So fuck off! What is wrong with tossing a few bucks to poor people who seemed to appreciate it.

Yes, they likely shouldn't have served chicken feet but they knew they were dealing with snobby assholes and it was the only way they could "get back" in a gentle way. How utterly rude and assholish that the family didn't even get out of the car to see the grandmother who worked all day for their feast. Holy shit. What fucking snobby assholes. I'm still angry. Yes, they are crazy Americans. 

They are representative of a type of typical tourist Americans who make the rest of the world hate them including all the fantastic typical tourist Americans. I saw this entitled type all the time when I waitressed at CN Tower and Skydome. UGH. They are the main reason I had to write. They likely go to church and donate but god forbid they have the opportunity to help real live people, even to just say hello and spend a few hours in a shack and appreciate how THEY don't have to ever live this way but these people have no choice. What assholes.

This relationship won't last. I think Pedro actually loves Chantal but he'll eventually tire of her diva ways and cheat. Chantal is just a selfish asshole and will likely dump him because her parents will tell her to even though she lied so much about getting married in the first place. Her parents will never trust Pedro and it's all Chantal's fault and if they are too lazy to learn about cultures where sons take care of their mothers, then they can just go back to their self-absorbed little castle. They should appreciate how hard Pedro works (two jobs) and that he wants to take care of his family. It shows true character and that he would be a good father and provider. Selfish Chantal and hubby Pedro live in a fine place in an expensive city and have costly clothes, nails, hair, cars, jewelry...what's a couple of hundred bucks when they likely spend that on a night out at the bar?

Now, down to my two favourite couples. Well, not favourite but the ones I watch this show for because sometimes my jaw falls onto the floor.

Anfisa and Jorge

Danielle and Mohamad

First of all, Anfisa and Mohamad are classic cases of Narcissistic Personality Disorder Syndrome, not that I'm a shrink or anything. But I think their actions speak for themselves.

Danielle and Jorge are classic targets, enablers, people who often get caught in the web of hypnotic vampire spiders.

It is so obvious that both Anfisa and Mohamad latched onto people who they thought were multi-millionaires who would take care of them. They thought they could pretend to love the people since the pay was good. However, when they arrived and realized these people weren't like the Kardashians, they played mind games and bided their time until the green card was obtained and then, bye-bye.

Both Jorge and Danielle didn't have the endless cash supply the con artists were hoping for so ugliness ensued. Which makes for great television. Danielle is her own special kind of nuts and Jorge is just a nice guy with low self-esteem who thought he could play Wolf of Wall Street but hooked a true psycho instead of just a pretty Russian girl who wanted to come over and be treated well. Jorge just had bad luck. He's young and likely had too much cash too fast and then it was gone and she won't let him make more because she's so stupid that she doesn't understand why he's not with her 24/7 yet he has to go to work to get the money for the life she demands! What the hell?

Watching how Anfisa treats Jorge makes me sad. I understand how he's hypnotized and likely really did have a lot of money, once, but blew it all on her. She never lets him go to work so how is he supposed to make money? She cost him big deals even while the show was filming. I'm sure once he pissed off suppliers or whatever, he lost connections, business and now he's in debt. Her constant demands and abuse drained his bank account, cost him jobs, his health, his self-esteem. Yet he still loves her. No. He loves the demon who hypnotized him with great sex and promises in another land. But once she got here, the mask came off and she became the demon she was all along. But he doesn't quite see it yet. He will, I hope. He keeps hoping the original Anfisa will return but she won't because she never existed. The Jorge-beating gaslighting mind-fucker she is now is her true self.

Her word salads, her mind games, her control actions, deleting his phone, kicking him out of his own apartment that he pays for and why? Who even knows? She's crazy like all narcissists, psychopaths, and sociopaths are. And she's barely twenty! Yet, he is beguiled. And that's how these demons survive.

Just like Danielle. She STILL has the hots for Mohammad, you can tell by her blush when she speaks of him, even though they only had sex once and he's running around with a million different women. She's hypnotized as well by the original guy she thought she knew. But she lied about her money situation, lost her job, and he took off.

Neither Jorge or Danielle are innocent in the mix either but they don't deserve what was done to them.

Both Anfisa and Mohamad should be deported. They came to the United States and mind-fucked US citizens and blew through their money. There's even footage of Anfisa physically assaulting Jorge on camera on two separate occasions. Who knows how much she beats him behind closed doors? The way she treats him on camera is disgusting. It's so sad to see him bullied and he doesn't know what to do. She needs to be arrested, jailed, and then deported. She's just a gold digger.

Mohamad just wanted a green card, he would have liked to have been a gold digger and no doubt, he will land on some woman's bed, and perhaps has been all along, but maybe not now that his life has been on TV. I've heard rumours he's deported but I'm not sure. I haven't peeked at spoilers when I can help it.

Why Watch This Mess?

Learning about con artists, love fraud, and so on is always a good idea. Watching these shows, no matter how scripted, can show different ways that people get conned, from spouses conning each other, to families conning families, even the agent conning Pao.

Learning about red flags is always a valuable tool. No matter how obvious some actions look from the "outside," no one ever knows what it's like to be the target on the inside. No one can understand the seductions behind closed doors, the promises to do better, the rewards of the sex that had been deprived. Good-hearted people are hypnotized by demons every day. Learning the signs can keep it from being you!

Consider watching 90 Day Fiance, Happily Ever After? school work, a lesson in human nature, especially if you're rushing into a marriage or cohabitation with a stranger!

I began watching the show just because I was curious to see if people would actually get married and why. It's been on for a while.  However, these couples from last season were so bizarre there's a whole new season about the aftermath on TLC.

What do you think about these couples? Will any of them survive and grow into a healthy marriage?

It's All Fun and Games Until You Meet A Real One

Strange Days
These are difficult times we live in. I see it in my children. I see it in my friends. I see it by the lack of stability in relationships, careers, housing, investments, and even the weather patterns.

Yes, there has always been flux and evolution and survival of the fittest and such. But what monstrous times we live in.

We can look back at history at other monstrous times: WWII, The Spanish Inquisition, Romans, Biblical events.

There are have always been despicable people performing alarming acts on others. These stories, these realities, these historical facts, should be teaching the human race to evolve.

But we don't.

Villains in Fiction
It's fun to watch villains in fiction. We love the Joker, Kylo Ren, Darth Vader, Snidely Whiplash, Dandy Mott, Alex, Dracula, The Wicked Witch of the West, Cruella deVille, and so on. We love to watch them do evil stuff and either find redemption or pay the price by the end of their story. Fiction is fun. Without evil, there would be no good. How would we know who the hero is since there wouldn't be one? Stories would suck.

In real life, it's not so fun to dance with a psychopath/narcissist/sociopath. And they are getting harder to avoid as they are Academy Award winning actors and actresses roaming around our every day world. And there is often no redemption or happy endings in any story they star in, which is all of them.

The barrage of TV shows about these dysfunctional people indicates we are hungry to hear these stories. We marvel from the outside at the clues we're fed by the writers. How are people so easily conned? Why don't they leave if they think they are abused? How could she not know her husband is a serial killer?

Greed
As a horror writer, I'm interested in real life horror and keep the TV on a lot for company. I watch American Greed, Dateline, 20/20, all those OWN shows about con artists, serial killers, cheaters and though it gets depressing, it's also interesting to see rich, famous, intelligent people get just as conned as Joe Everyone who lives next door.

The human condition is a strange and complicated one. Yet in many ways, very easy to contemplate as well. We all want to survive. Some people think surviving is manipulating others to get what they want, no matter the price. Others believe that helping others is the way for everyone to just get along and all get what we want in the end. Most of us fall somewhere in-between, living our lives, doing our best, hoping for the best, and getting by and assuming everyone else is doing the same.

But some people aren't. They will stop at nothing to lie and cheat their way to ...what? "The Top" whatever that means to them. To some, it's to be President of Something, a judge, a doctor, a movie star, and others it's to own their own business or have a car or own their own home. Goals may vary but the lies and deceit don't. People who lie and cheat to get what they want will do it in every level of their life. It can seem exhausting when watching it in action, but that's just how some people are. And those types of people aren't very good for most other people. They know how to push buttons, how to seduce and manipulate, whether it's a conscious act or just a natural gift/curse. It behooves us to learn to recognize their games early on.

These people make great villains in fiction like in the hits Wolf of Wall Street and Catch Me If You Can but the people who lived through those crimes would likely have a different version of the story.

No one wants to live through that kind of drama and trauma. But people do every day on different levels. And no one talks about it. This is why it's hard to get untangled from the spider web once it's recognized. Then when people do finally break free, it's rare they are applauded for their efforts.

No, the target is often considered stupid, selfish, weak, insane, abusive, if he or she dares to leave or even more so, to speak out at all about any of the abuse.

Domestic abuse is so insidious that to relay one or two incidents often sounds ridiculous. The listener has to bear in mind all the rest of the set dressing of the event. Get into that D-box chair and put on the 3D glasses. Think about tone, facial expressions, body language, seduction, setting, family repercussions, financial repercussions...it's never so very simple as, "Oh, he slapped you? Why didn't you just up and leave?" or "Just kick him out."

No, it's not easy to decipher the truth and perception and perspective and experience. But if a person feels fearful of another, that is never good. And to feel fearful enough to try to please him or her? That's co-dependency and a thing of its own which also needs to be recognized and talked about.

The Trial of Jian Ghomeshi
The trial of Jian Ghomeshi is happening right now. Already witnesses are being raked through the coals about what appears to be contradictory acts on the part of the alleged victim. This is an opportunity for people to be educated about the dangerous manipulations of seduction, abuse, hypnosis, gaslighting, and more. This is the chance for people to learn that yes, you can be smacked around and horrified by it, yet still want to please your abuser because you feel like YOU did something wrong for this ugliness to happen and you will tie yourself into knots trying to understand it, to fix it, to avoid it happening again. However, it can take a lifetime and some people never figure out that it wasn't their fault, that they had been gaslighted/abused/lied to/manipulated and kept on a string.

Until such behaviour is experienced in one's own life, such situations can look like ridiculous, ludicrous behaviour. People who haven't been through a mind-fuck don't understand how a perfectly intelligent, sane person can be driven to madness by loving or trying to please someone who turns out to be abusive.

People don't go into an abusive relationship knowing its abusive. They are seduced by magnificent behaviour, gifts, romance, hot sex, and so on and only very slowly does it all erode into a nightmare. So slowly that it's barely perceptible. And that's why it's difficult to see from the inside, as the seduced target, that something is horribly wrong even if people on the outside can see it plain as day. There's no specific place to pinpoint what happened and often the target will blame her or himself for somehow making things fall apart. And so he or she will try to please the abuser more, who of course, is getting away with bad behaviour and so it all escalates.

Get Educated About Toxic Relationships
At any rate, there are hundreds of websites, groups, and books these days geared towards toxic relationships. If your relationship suddenly seems to have taken a left turn at Albuquerque, get educated about domestic abuse, narcissistic personality disorder, and learn how to set your own personal boundaries. Keep in mind that material possessions mean nothing if you or your children are dead whether from mind games, health issues, or physical violence.

Print version of (Stop) Dancing in the Gaslight

The trial of Jian Ghomeshi will bring abusive behaviour out into the light. Hopefully the proceedings  will open up some dialogue about abusive relationships.

In the meantime, let's keep the villains in fiction. Real life ones suck.

What's the Deal with Kylo Ren?

Girls just want to have fun too you know!

The other day one of my friends asked me what my deal is with Kylo Ren?

"Are you sexually attracted to him?" he asked.

I pressed the Kylo Ren light saber battery usage detector icon placed in a strategic position on the Kylo Ren wallpaper on my phone so that it buzzed, and then I grinned.

"I like his saber..."

However, his question did make me wonder. He only said what I'm sure many of my friends and peers are thinking.

Why did I suddenly get obsessed with Kylo Ren?

Well, Dandy's been dead a while...

Gotta have a new psychopath to moon over?

I think the picture of Kylo Ren looking at the demon from my new book speaks for itself.

It's what I do.

I live in the shadows.

I'm a horror writer.

The Villain
Kylo Ren is a great villain. At least, how I like to see villains.

He's not pure evil, as his mom says in Star Wars: The Force Within. He still has some Light.

He almost has a conscience.

I wish they'd left in the scene where has remorse over what he did to his dad.

But the movie is already long and also it might have been too emo for the hard core fans who already mock him and call him Cry-lo Ren. I also take umbrage with haters who thought he was a sissy in the final battle. He was battling Finn with a mortal wound, inflicted by Chewbacca that would have taken out most people, in his side, that he kept hitting, and he got sliced by Finn. It also seems clear to me that Finn has some Force in him as well so that battle was pretty rough.

Then he finally had to battle Rey who had already picked his mind and created self-doubt, while bleeding to death and no doubt in horrible pain, and did a damn fine job of it. He could have killed her instantly, we know that, but he was hesistant, no doubt still feeling shitty from killing dad and now he would kill another person he knows. We know he knows her from the flashbacks. I'm certain she is Luke's daughter so she would be his cousin. So it's a vulnerable character battling supposedly to the death. But it isn't because they have to stay alive for two more movies. And he'll have a sexy scar on his face in addition to his tortured Phantom of the Opera mystique.

As I've mentioned before, this movie came along at the perfect time in my life. It awakened in me my fun side. My geek side. The side that dug sitting in the moving chairs with 3D glasses hurtling through space shooting stuff.

Cool Costume and Hair
Maybe Kylo Ren's costume looks way cooler in 3D. I've only seen the movie in 3D. I love his cape and hair, and of course, it echoes of all things I love: witches, goths, and vampires.

When I first left the movie, I said that they should have something in one of the next movies where Alan Rickman in Snape costume but not as the character Snape and Kylo Ren have some sort of encounter. But poor Mr. Rickman died shortly thereafter.

I've always loved quirky looking men and of course, they Disney-fied Adam Driver to be gorgeous, creepy, petulant, and dangerous. They pushed all the right buttons, at least to capture my interest. And judging by all the "Adam Driver is hot" posts I see, I'm not alone. He pulls off that outfit and of course, that narcissistic psychopath character perfectly. Yes, there are also lots of people who hate his looks. But isn't that always the way?

Embrace Your Inner Child
My kid side no longer has actual kids to indulge and so I'm embracing my inner child and enjoying playing with my Kylo Ren toys.

Don't shrinks always tell us to embrace our inner child.

So maybe I am!

I've been posting pictures mostly on Instagram and some on Twitter. I don't mean anything by it but pure fun.

Like most writers, I have lots of toys on my desk and I rotate them out for new ones now and again. Now a tiny Kylo Ren has joined the pack. I've been looking for a bigger one but he's sold out everywhere in the form I want. I know there will be more than enough dolls in about a month. So many they'll be piled up in discount bins for years.

So I'll be patient for new dolls.

In the meantime, I hope people get a few chuckles out of my silly games.

In the Beginning

Kylo Ren meets my gorilla from the Chicago Zoo.

Kylo Ren tells the witch the demon made him cut off the gorilla's arm but she's not buying it.

Then he meets my spider.

Gorilla gets pissed at Kylo Ren. He smacks down the light saber but Kylo Ren puts him in a Force Grip.

Gorilla is going to make some Kylo Ren stew.

Kylo Ren is pissed.

Kylo Ren Force grabs a nearby skeleton who was mocking him.

The spider and gorilla try to make a break for it.

Kylo Ren Force grabs his lightsaber and that's the end of everyone.

Time for a coffee break from a mug with the crime scene photo of Abby Borden with her head bashed in from The Lizzie Borden Bed and Breakfast.

I gave him a stern talking to about trashing my toys.

He's says he'll try better as he stomps off in a huff. I'm not sure I believe him.

Well, look who's here? Scrat! He heard all the commotion and thought he'd see what's up.

Kylo Ren has an idea.

Be careful, Scrat!

Scrat panics and knocks the acorn and the lightsaber out of Kylo Ren's hands.

Just as Kylo Ren is going to Force choke Scrat, he is distracted by a spinal column bone that fits perfectly on his head like a helmet. He contemplates the look for a while, in black of course, but decides he doesn't want to look like a cross between the Pharoahs in the movie, Jesus Christ: Superstar and the Gorilla Army from Tim Burton's Planet of the Apes. I hope.

Where are you going now, Kylo Ren?

He's a man with a mission.

No, Kylo Ren. You can't use the Scorching Ball as your new Starkiller Base.

Look deep into the crystal ball, Ben Solo. Who are you and what do you really want from your life?

(NOTE: I took these pictures over the course of the week or so I've had the doll. These photos might be different from ones that I posted on other social media. I thought it would be fun to try to make some sense out of the random pictures that I took. So I came up with this story. The pictures themselves are in the order of how I took them, which I made part of the game for myself!)

The Lizzie Borden Chronicles on Lifetime: The Beginning

I've been watching this series with interest. After all, I wasn't too pleased with the TV movie, simply because I didn't buy Christina Ricci as Lizzie Borden. However, Ricci has fine-tuned her character and I've grown more tolerant now that this has become a series. I buy her psychopathic tenancies now.

The mini-series begins where the movie left off and where for most people, the story ends. The series follows Lizzie and Emma's lives after the trial is over in a fictional manner. Instead of the murders ending with Andrew and Abby, they continue on in the tiny town of Fall River.

I've only seen two episodes at this point and am anxious to see more. It took me a while to warm up to Bates Motel and American Horror Story, so I'm pleased that I'm all ready warming up to The Lizzie Borden Chronicles.

I've never discounted Ricci being psychopathic, she has always done that well. It was her tiny frame that I didn't find believable in swinging that axe with enough  force to slay two people. However, the writers have addressed that idea a couple of times by recounting other cases of women who were small and were capable of vile acts.

It pleases me that they are exploring Lizzie's lesbianism in showing Ricci kissing women. In real life, Lizzie fancied an actress named Nance. She is here in the miniseries as well.

I recommend giving The Lizzie Borden Chronicles a look-see. Your guess is as good as mine as where this series will go and how long it will stay on the air.

Incest is Best on Bates Motel Season Three

Spoiler Alert!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My guilty pleasure that existed long before I fell in love with psychopathic Dandy Mott in American Horror Story: FreakShow was Bates Motel.

As we hurtle into Season Three, it seems the long lingering foreplay is going to finally begin to pay off.

Norman has grown from gangly teenager into a creepily charismatic young man. His psychopathic traits are unravelling faster than ever. The yearn for an adrenaline rush continues to supersede common sense.

Norman's attachment to mom continues to twist and his mind continues to split as he dances between fantasy and reality.

Norman even dates a girl to make mom jealous after mom decides (when Dylan points it out) that perhaps an eighteen year old man shouldn't be spooning with his mother. Twisted indeed.

Which of course, brings us to Dylan. Poor twisted tormented Dylan. He wants to do what's right but how can he get on with life when he surrounded by psychopaths?

His dad is his uncle. Dylan was the result of a liaison between his mom and her brother. Norman was fathered by a different man.

Dylan suspects his mom and brother are serial killers and no matter how he tries to get away, he gets sucked back into the web of family dysfunction.

Bates Motel contains debauchery on every level and third season is starting out on a great foot. I can't wait to see what's going to happen next!

Oh, Dandy, How I'm Going to Miss You!

Superdeduper Spoileramas for American Horror Story: FreakShow

I began watching American Horror Story: FreakShow during the second part of the two-part Mordrake story arc. I didn't really like the Dandy character much and thought he was totally out of place in the FreakShow universe.

I eventually was able to finally view the series from the first episode right up until Tupperware Party in pretty much a two-day binge.

The character of Dandy made way more sense to me, obviously, and I fell in love with his man-baby, blood bathing, puppet-making ways.

When we first meet him, he's wide-eyed at the FreakShow and wants to become part of it. He knows he's "different" and hopes that maybe the freaks will accept him. He also wants to buy the twins who have two heads and one body. His mom gives it a shot but Elsa refuses to sell them. Dandy also wants to become part of the FreakShow but Elsa turns him down.

Dandy is bummed out and bored. He's well read and loves the theatre. He dreams of becoming an actor, a star, but his mom won't let him become common theatre folk. However, she attempts to cheer him up by renting him a clown that she finds wandering the road. Of course, she has no idea that Twisty the Clown is a demented serial killer.

Dandy plays with the clown a bit, but the clown isn't into his puppet shows. The clown is bored of Dandy and knocks him out. Dandy wakes up and follows him, likely for revenge, but he has the time of his life when he sees what Twisty is really all about.

It is around this time that the audience sees the character of Dandy evolve through an arc that is actually carrying into the final episode.

Along the way, Dandy finally gets to have his twins in his playroom and he's thrilled and spoils them rotten. One of the twins falls in love with him. The other twin loves Jimmy the Lobster Boy. The twins leave when Jimmy discovers where they are and takes them back to the circus.

Dandy is beyond despair at the loss of his loves. He wanted to marry them. Even worse, they lose their virginity to a crazy ventriloquist and Dandy has the pictures, provided by his P.I. We actually feel sorry for Dandy when he realizes what's happened. When he says, "They were supposed to be mine," we know that this isn't over by a long shot.

Now, at the end of the latest episode, "Show Stoppers" Dandy owns the circus and essentially, owns the twins, again. What a thrilling and chilling moment!

Storyline, character, actor, director, and photographer have combined to create a work of horror art/iconic psychopath that hasn't been done in a while. Dandy was already a costume this past Halloween and that was before the Dandy/Finn Wittrock fan base blew up.

Dandy is a perfect commentary of the modern psychopath/sociopath/narcissist. Material greed, selfishness, hovering narcissistic mom, unlimited resources, and boredom is indicative of many households in modern times. Even without unlimited resources in a family, a narcissist usually manages to find a way to get others to pay. Dandy is the modern man-baby, it's all about him. His bedroom is like a child's nursery though he's a grown man, perhaps early twenties? It doesn't matter that FreakShow isn't a modern story, the parable is, on many levels.

Fun things about Dandy is that he drinks booze from a crystal baby bottle. He's obsessed with his looks. He likes puppets and theatre. He likes learning new skills. He's not afraid of exotic adventures. It's all about what he wants though he doesn't know what he really wants except to be an actor, well, until he decides he's much more.

Where I went from not really like this character to thinking he was the best thing I'd seen in forever occurred when he was sawing off Matt Bomer's arm. Sure I loved seeing him running around in his undies, especially both of them together. Absolutely. But Dandy was just another pretty spoiled TV-show boy until that moment. That classic moment when he's sawing off the arm, and Matt is still alive. Dandy has the best moments there. I was laughing and horrified at actor Finn Wittrock's brilliance. How hammy that could have been (don't get me wrong, this character is over-the-top but it IS about freaks and showbiz) or how wooden as so many other "psycho" actors can be. Finn hit the mark and it rocked.

He had a couple of now classic lines that he delivered magnificently as well throughout the series that have been made into countless memes. Especially some of his comments to Twisty. They are priceless. That Julliard training paid off for Finn Wittrock.

Dandy's droll observations really make for great entertainment. And really, that's all I want in any show. To be entertained. So thank you writers.

When the curtain comes down tomorrow, Dandy will be gone. It doesn't matter if he dies or not, the magic of this character creation in this season is over. Dandy Mott will live on in reruns but we'll never see anything original about him again. I'm sure Murphy is well aware of how many new fans Finn Wittrock has garnered and will likely put him in Season Five and who knows? Dandy may make an appearance or Finn may play someone else, as he's stated he wants to do in various interviews. But Dandy will never be Dandy how we know Dandy now. So enjoy him tomorrow night no matter what happens in the plot.

I will miss Dandy and his crazy adventures.

Can't wait for tomorrow's final episode.



Added thought:
Long ago we saw the twins in a bottle at the museum. I guess that this was just a fantasy?

It would be kind of cool if somehow Dandy became curator of the museum as well and put his beloved twins in his collection after they meet their demise.

I also had high hopes that Stanley's appendage would end up in a bottle as well.

What do you think?

American Horror Story: Series and Season One Musings

American Horror Story

American Horror Story musings with tons of spoileramas for all the seasons!

With American Horror Story: FreakShow wrapping up in two episodes, I decided it was high time to sit down and watch the first two seasons once and for all. Luckily I’m a Rogers subscriber and a new service they’ve started called Showmi is offering the first three seasons. Even luckier, the first month of Showmi is free so there’s no excuse to not do my homework.

I completed my American Horror Story: Murder House viewing in the wee hours of the morning after watching it for about two days. I will confess, I had tried to watch it twice before when it was on FX. Once was on the day it actually started and the other when it was in reruns last year during Coven-time. However, both times it failed to hold my interest past the first little while. Mostly it was the less-than-stellar acting.

Several good horror writing pals told me that I’d like Murder House if I’d just get into it. And they were right. I like it very much. It was way better to watch it binge-viewing. And as a Rosemary’s Baby fan, I loved that part of it.

My first gut instinct comment is that Evan Peters has evolved and matured amazingly as an actor over the seasons. His work in Murder House is acceptable, he didn’t really have to do much as hunky horny FrankenTeen in Coven but as Jimmy the Lobster Boy in FreakShow, he deserves awards. I can’t wait to see him in Asylum which I’m starting tonight.

It was fun to watch Murder House after seeing Coven and FreakShow first. There are some little bits that tie the series together that are fun to spot. It’s also fun to see all the tropes and homages to other horror stories (hence the title of the series); some obvious, some not so much.

The first real line of dialogue in Episode One, Season One of American Horror Story is: “Hey, Freak!”  If you’ve been watching FreakShow, you know that freak is the operative word, especially with Jimmy yelling, “We’re not freaks,” a thousand times an episode.

Rosemary’s Baby is hugely spotlighted with Jessica Lange as a Ruth Gordon-type character. There are way too many Rosemary’s Baby references to get into. However, I loved the eating of the raw brains as one of my favourite scenes in RB is when Mia Farrow as Rosemary is chomping on raw liver. I’ve had those cravings myself when pregnant (craving raw steak, not brains) so it’s always fun to see a pregnant lady with extreme iron-deficiency cravings.

Evan Peters as Tate is very much playing a Malcolm McDowell in A Clockwork Orange character. I always thought Peters had a McDowell look about him, but they just plain out shot him a la Kubrick in a couple of scenes to drive it home! Love it.

As I mentioned, I didn’t totally buy Peters’ portrayal of his character. Of course, it’s hard playing a ghost playing a psychopath. I wonder too if perhaps it had something to do with the directing. The female psychopath Hayden played by Kate Maya in Murder House was terrible. I’m sorry to say that, I wanted to like her as we all know, I love psychopaths. She looked like Avril Lavigne trying to act like a bad girl. (I've never bought into Avril Lavigne as a Goth Grrl either.) I didn’t buy the black eye-liner, and she just didn’t feel real. Maybe she’s too nice in real life to find the evil inside of herself to be a husband-stealing-baby-stealing little bitch. I just didn’t buy her performance at all. I barely believed her as a mistress and didn’t believe her at all as a stalker. She gets points for trying. I’m not sure what didn’t work for me.

I guess the problem with seeing Murder House after FreakShow is that FreakShow is high voltage bloodbath orgy-ridden roller coaster ride while Murder House is slow slow slow. In FreakShow, Finn Wittrock expertly plays psychopath Dandy in larger than life manner; every nuance, every finger twitch, every lip quiver, every eyebrow lift is carefully calculated in a dance of perfection between actor, director, and camera. The actors playing psychopaths in Murder House don’t have the same level of intensity, perhaps direction, and so the performances feel weaker and don’t ring as true. There isn’t that level of audience fear about what the psychopath will do next, that anything can go horribly wrong at any minute in Murder House that you get with Dandy’s scenes in FreakShow. Dandy is a tightly wound violin string that can snap at any minute, and it's not predictable exactly when that snap is gonna happen. Peters character just doesn't have that same intensity although as a school-shooter mom-raping psychopath, he should.

Interesting that there was a very specific chair flip camera pov shot that is in Murder House and FreakShow and I think in Coven as well. It may well be a famous shot from some horror movie, I don't know.

There are lots of puppet and doll references in Murder House. We all know about the puppets in FreakShow. Dandy plays with his puppet theatre a lot and makes his own puppets out of mom and Tupperware lady. And there was a psycho doll hoarder who made a girl into his own doll in Coven. The ventriloquist doll/Jamie Brewer in FreakShow is going to be a big plot point this week, I think.

Murder House has a Dr. Frankenstein, in Coven we have a Frankenteen. In FreakShow, Elsa has wooden legs. Lobster Boy needs new hands to name a couple of numerous Frankenstein references.

Jamie Brewer wears a mask and make-up in Murder House and plays a ventriloquist doll in Freakshow. She sees dead people in Murder House and Coven and likely FreakShow. Chester wears the same over-exaggerated make-up in FreakShow that she does in Murder House.

There’s a character named Fiona in Murder House. Jessica Lange plays a Fiona in Coven.

Not sure how I feel about the Freddy Krueger stuff.

There’s a scene where Constance is painting a pair of lady legs in Murder House. Elsa has wooden legs in FreakShow.

Is the little boy in the Murder House Dandy? Yet it can’t be since Dandy was born by his mom, a product of inbreeding with relatives. And Dandy is just like his dad. In Murder House, Tait is the dad. Or was Dandy adopted or switched? We never saw his birth. Of course, I have to go back and look at the timeline, it likely wouldn’t make sense.

How is Tait a dad? How does a ghost make a baby? Or is he a demon, devil? We never learn what the original source of the horror of the murder house was. Yes, it was built for Lily Rabe by a Frankennut, but what was there before THAT? What made Frankendoc the original horror? There's a whole plot point where Sara Paulson tells us there's an original evil and made it sound like it was a demon or a portal, but then it was never addressed again. Or maybe I dozed off...

In Murder House, since it's in California, there are a few characters over the eras who want to be famous movie stars. A few are satisfied that their grisley deaths make them famous. In Coven, Emma Roberts is a famous movie star. Of course, Madam LaLaurie and Marie Laveau are famous in NOLA folklore, as were Axman and several others who showed up. In FreakShow, the driving theme is fame. Elsa wants to be famous, she almost was, and then she was for grisly reasons (much like some of the people in Murder House) and then she has another chance to be famous and won't stop at anything to make it happen. Dandy wants to be an actor and if his mom had just let him do some community theatre, he wouldn't have tried to become a clown and then found his true calling: Playing God.

Major Series Theme takeaways: puppet makers, other people "working the strings," Pinnochio, Frankenstein, God Complex, being famous/movie stars, parts sewn to parts, loves lost, perversions win, and the real freaks are those who are warped/evil on the inside no matter how beautiful they are on the outside...

Overall, I enjoyed Season One and am glad I took the time to watch it.